Avoidant personality disorder dating
I’m not the same person I was back then, and therapy can do the same for you.
When going into therapy don’t be afraid to try a bunch of different therapists.
I explain what I did (and why) and how you can do it too, or what your timeline might look like as your beliefs, emotions, thoughts, and actions change: Before I thought all I wanted was lots of casual sex and one-night-stands.
Sure that stuff can be fun, but you have to treat it as it is — just for fun with another consenting adult who understands that it’s the same.
You need to work out these issues with a therapist, and also potentially talk to your parents about them.
Especially being an adult, you need to stand on your own and fix the patterns. As much as you can work on things, sometimes things can only improve by a certain amount. For example with my Mom, I learned that I had a huge population bias and didn’t even see it.
For example, a guy who has issues with women and getting validation from them is going to unconsciously filter himself in front of a female therapist to make her like him a bit more, especially if she asks about his dating life and views on women. Also, you should expect that things will get WORSE before they get better.
Therapy brings up deep seated emotional problems from your sub-conscious, and you’ll be a bit emotional right after a session, and as you pursue therapy.
In fact, that’s why many people complain about the other person being excessively “needy” — constantly checking in to see that things are OK and that they’re being good.Plan accordingly, e.g., no big/important meetings right after.If you have stuff you’re holding in, it’ll come out in your relationships unless you sort it out before.If Mom always expected you to take care of her needs and you had to be there, you’ll learn that you need to sacrifice EVERYTHING in order for you to get intimacy with your girlfriends.As a girl, if Dad got pissed anytime you didn’t do something 100% right, and Mom expected you to be perfect, then you’ll see the effects as well.