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Lesbians make eye contact in public in a different way than straight women do.Even if there is not a romantic interest, there is a way that lesbians look each other in the eye, a way that subtly says, “I see you,” that is different than how straight women look at each other.I don’t want to be pigeonholed into a specific category or subject; I want to be seen as everything and nothing.I want to be seen as authentically myself, and to push myself to fully experiment with my favorite art.Though I wouldn’t say my girlfriend “looks like a man,” she has short hair, wears flannel, and definitely has a rough and tumble way about her that makes it pretty hard to imagine her in a dress.The moment someone asks why I don’t just date men, they are telling me that they have no understanding or appreciation of what it means to be a woman.However, the people who ask this question seem to have forgotten what the word “lesbian” means, so I am going to go a little further.I acknowledge that there are many different relationship and gender dynamics, but I can only speak based on my own personal attraction.
At its core, when someone asks the question, “If you’re dating a woman who looks like a man, then why don’t you just date men?
” what they’re really saying is, “You’re dating a woman and she does not fall within my limited mold.
It makes me uncomfortable and so does your sexuality.
By saying that because I like my girlfriend’s tomboy characteristics I would be happier with a “real man,” they’re saying that every guy whose girlfriend plays sports and doesn’t like shopping secretly wants to be with a guy.
If we put traditional ideas of masculine and feminine on two ends of a spectrum, most of us fall somewhere in between.
On top of all that, women can love like no one else in the world.