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Posted by / 19-Apr-2020 16:57

As to emotional intimacy, we live in the age of email, free long distance and unlimited any-time minutes, and cheap flights.

It’s still really easy to “act married” emotionally, even in a long-distance relationship.

If our goal is to move positively toward God-glorifying lives (rather than simply to “walk the line” by attempting to satisfy our fleshly desires as much as possible without sinning), wisdom and godliness would seem to counsel keeping relationships shorter.

Certainly, as God’s people, we don’t want to live in fear and have our lives be primarily defined by avoiding temptation rather than positively seeking after Christ. Still, where particular known areas of temptation exist, it’s not living in fear to be deliberate about taking the wiser course.

Over time, maybe you take some of the same classes, live near one another, etc.

In that context, living with the desires I’ve just described, how likely do you think it is that over the course of two or three or four years — some couples date over most of their college years — you will be able to maintain enough emotional discipline and distance to avoid acting emotionally and relationally “married”?

He leads us primarily by His Word, and we are to look there first and primarily for guidance about how to live and make decisions.

God does not ever “call” or “lead” His people into sin, or even into folly or biblically responsible choices. Choice one is to get married anyway and work your way through.

As your general comfort level around each other rises, that momentum grows even more. We’ll assume, per another clear principle from Scripture, that both members of our college couple are Christians.

On most college campuses, that likely puts the two of you in the same relatively small social circle.

Perhaps both of you are active in the same campus ministry, you go to the same church.

Sadly, statistics and anecdotal experience both indicate that even the couples who spend time in dating relationships of any length, sin physically.

The longer the relationship, the higher the percentage.

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  1. They’re still trying to make sense of why I don’t live with their mum anymore, so the last thing they need is the uncertainty of dealing with someone new in my life, and theirs. But being a dad, even if I’m a lonely one, is still the best bloody thing in the world.