Dating a former addict
Some women choose abusive partners in early recovery because they lack discernment or grew accustomed to being treated poorly in childhood.The dissatisfaction they feel in their relationships is often the stressor that led to their drug abuse in the first place.
Finding out that someone you like is a recovering addict does not need to be a roadblock, but you should be prepared to meet the challenge.
This person often is abusive or codependent, as is the recovering person early on.
Codependent individuals focus too heavily on the needs of their partner (“My happiness is dependent on making/keeping you happy”), and define themselves by their relationship, sometimes lowering their personal standards to please someone else.
While this can feel flattering and exciting, it’s important that you encourage your partner to maintain his independence, and that you do the same. You might need to give up drinking, smoking, or using other substances if you’re going to date a recovering addict.
The first few months of recovery from addiction are some of the most difficult.