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Posted by / 18-Oct-2020 15:37

Dating a southern black man

And, really, it roots deeper than my parents, my grandparents, and their parents before them.

Racial tension between Mexicans and blacks, especially on the west coast and in some parts of the south, is tied to an ugly history.

One thing I took away, but have yet to fully unpack, from my recent conversation with my mom is that I fear I may have heightened stereotypes, too.

She mentioned how the majority of stories of heartbreak and depreciation I shared with her in my younger days—one of which was physically harmful—involved black men. I was attempting to find love in a person I found attractive, consequences and all.

Stories, which laced with racial stereotypes, were told continuously that they became truth.

My eyes and heart tend to steer me in that direction.

Once, in 2011, my then-boyfriend and I left a photo of us, taken at an event, at a bodega by accident.

When we came back to retrieve it, the guys behind the counter, which looked to be Latino, handed it to us ripped in half.

I can't pinpoint physical features or characteristics of black men because that's not only wrong, it's just not the entire case. Have I come across one that's caught my attention? I have strong Mexican men in my life, too—my father and my two brothers—that I hold close, respect, and admire.

What I'm attracted to can be found in men of all races: strong arms (sense of protection), a great smile, nice build (healthy), ambitious, passionate, a sense of humor—a touch of sarcasm helps—and a kind heart. My brothers never seemed to have an opinion as to the type of men I dated, and were only concerned with how each guy treated me. My dad has always been a quiet man, and his only insertion in conversations about my dating life: "Are you happy, ?

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In Georgia—where the Hispanic population has increased 130 percent from 1980 to 1995, and became the third largest state with migrating Hispanics and Latinos—there's been numerous hate crimes between Hispanics and blacks.