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I can say that I finally grasped the reasons that are responsible for making American dating culture so complex and so radically different from pretty much dating in any other country.
And these reasons have less to do with American women specifically than with American culture as a whole.
As a result of this information overload, most women you meet in America have already formed various opinions on a wide range of issues.
I’ve met girls who had an opinion on subjects ranging from the efficacy of Western sanctions on Russia, the best way to fight ISIS, to ways of obtaining Federal government funding for social services, ways of cutting Federal funding for social services, the best way to answer when a guy calls and reschedules, etc., etc.
Discussion is more or less a mode of exchanging your thoughts and ideas with a person whom you don’t yet know well. If you have a set of opinions, opinions that have already been validated by talking to lots of other people (or because you’ve already witnessed other people on TV having these opinions), then you have a certain level of confidence that your opinions are correct.
One of the reasons why you never cross this invisible wall that separates a rational discussion and irrational flirting is because of insecurity. You have no problems sharing those opinions with others.
Southern European cultures have pretty tough and “masculine” women; the stereotypical traditional Italian wife, for example, is very “tough” and “ball-busting” as demonstrated by her ability to run the house hold and even control her tough Italian husband. I wanted to put American dating under the microscope and study it like a scientist who studies microorganisms in his science lab.
If, by “masculine,” one means that American women can be tough and ball busting, then I can introduce you to plenty of Russian women who are just as tough and ball-busting.
My dilemma was that I could never rationally understand why dating is so confusing and complicated in America.
Lots of explanations are given by lots of people, but none of them truly explain the whole story.
It’s much less risky and requires much less confidence to merely your emotional interest in the other person—real spontaneous interest, interest that can be easily rejected by the other person.
This reminded me of a time when I went out with a friend in New York few years ago.
Can you imagine sitting across the table at a bar from a sexy Brazilian/Colombian/Russian girl and having a rather serious and formal conversation about some sexual topic? So, why keep it politically correct and continue discussing the pros and cons of some mundane topic?