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Posted by / 07-Jan-2020 09:26

Exampls of sex chat

You're saying some pretty hurtful things to me, and I don't feel like you're being very considerate of my feelings. It’s just that lately I haven’t been in the mood for sex at all. And I know it does, which is why I’m trying to finally talk about it. It’s not about you being a jerk or being bad in bed.

We’re having sex together, so any problems I’m having like this are supposed to be things you care about, too. I wish I was, but I’ve just been so stressed out, these antidepressants are doing a serious number on me, and I also think I’m just feeling unresolved with where we’re at with other parts of our relationship lately. You: I just didn’t want you to feel bad, and I don’t know how to tell you when it’s happening. You: I’m sorry: I can understand you being so upset with me and feeling like that. It’s just that, for starters, I need you to put less pressure on me to orgasm.

And something is wrong right now: I don’t feel like you’re really considering me, and while I understand you might be feeling defensive, I need to be heard – more than your friends – if we’re going to keep having sex. It’s not my problem if normal sex doesn’t work for you.

What I am saying is that when you’re finished, most of the time I’m not, and I need you to either care more about that, or if you already do, to show me that you care by asking if I’m finished, and when I’m not, by asking what else I want to do. You: You know, this is a hard talk for me to have, too, but with you being this angry about it, I don’t feel like we can have it right now.

I think you do, but you’re too upset to have this talk now. Them: I can understand that, even though I wish you felt better. You: Maybe we could spend the time we have together for a while either just snuggling, or doing some different things together? I feel like you get really frustrated with me when I don’t come, and like a lot of the time, it’s seemed easier to just pretend. I feel like such an asshole: I must be awful in bed! Do you want me to keep talking, or do you need a minute? When you get so frustrated, it’s pretty hard for me to stay excited.

So, I’m going to go home for now, but I’ll call you in a little bit and we can talk more if you want, or you can call me when you’ve cooled off. I know you like it, so I’ve tried it, but I’m just not into it and it doesn’t make me feel good. You: I was still making up my mind, but I was also worried because it seems like everybody does it and likes it, so I felt like a jerk or a prude and was also really worried you’d just want to find somebody else who would do it. Them: Well, you like and I don’t, and while I wish I did, because it’d make you happy, I know that you wouldn’t want me to do anything I didn’t like, and that sex where we both aren’t into something just isn’t any good. I know you love Chocolate ice cream, but – and this isn’t easy for me to say – I’ve got to be honest, I’m a Mint Chocolate Chip guy. And maybe we could also talk some more about that fight we had last week? Too, I think it’d help if we did more things with sex, or spent more time with those things, that were more likely to get me there.

I’m worked up right now, too, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for me to go farther before I’m ready, or that it’s fair to suggest that I should do more than I’m comfortable with because you’re excited. Them: (stammers) You: I don’t mean to put you on the spot, it’s just that I’d rather talk about it together first than just make a move that I’m not sure you want or are ready for.

Plus, we haven’t even talked about this before, and I feel like there’s a lot to talk about. Let me calm down for a minute, and then what do you say we just cuddle up and talk about this – no pressure, just seems like it’d be a good idea to figure out where we both stand and what we need. Alternate Conversation: Them: Can we move this to the bedroom? You won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t feel the same way – I mean, I’d be bummed, but it’s okay -- or don’t feel that way yet.

But now that you know, can I tell you what I need some more of, and can we talk about how we might do things differently from here on out? Alternate Conversation: You: I want to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me, and it isn’t easy to talk about, but I need to. You: Well, I keep feeling like maybe you don’t understand that just because you’re finished with sex, that doesn’t mean I am.And since I didn’t what it seems to say about you is that you have a girlfriend who needs to work on speaking up.And until we talk about what I think I’ll like more, I don’t think it makes sense to make this about you, you know?We can stop and start talking about it now if you want – so long as you understand I’m still not going to do it tonight – or we can keep doing what we were doing, or even just call it a night, but that’s it. I think it’s time to take things to the next level. You want to keep doing what we are, then, or want to just chill out? You: You know, I liked what we were doing, so if you’re cool, and we can keep it at that level, I’d like to keep doing that. I just want to let you know how I’m feeling, see how you’re feeling, and talk it over. Sorry to be so flustered, you just caught me off-guard. I do want to do that, too, I just didn’t know how to bring it up without making you feel uncomfortable. You: That’s okay: it feels a little uncomfortable for me to talk about it, too – I practiced saying this like eight times before you came over -- but I figure if I can’t be okay talking about it, I probably shouldn’t be doing it.You: I’m cool going to the bedroom if you want to, but I don’t feel like it’s time for me to step things up yet. There’s also some things we should just sort out in advance, like, we’ve never talked about our sexual histories, or where we both see this relationship going these days.

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You: Yeah, I’m there but I feel like I’m there mostly for what you want, and I’m not other girls: I’m me.