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Besides, comparing yourself to anybody — even if you come out ahead — is going to lead to feeling crappy, because basing your self-esteem on where you stand relative to someone else is Not Healthy.
So don't seek out comparisons, and if your dude brings up the topic, tell him you're not interested in hearing it. Don't try to keep your boyfriend and your bud from associating because you're afraid they still have feelings for each other, and don't constantly seek reassurance that that's not the case.
You and your friend are not in competition, except when you're actually playing Scrabble. Trust that your dude is with you because he likes you and you're awesome, not because he's biding his time until your friend takes him back.
Trust that your friend is happy you've found someone you dig, not plotting to sabotage your love.
There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. It’s even worse when your ex and a current friend decide to date.
Set aside time for each of them and honor it — don't drag your lover along on girls' night out (not even if your lover is a lady; queer chicks are about this), and don't invite your friend to what was supposed to be a romantic dinner at home. Don't do this ever, but especially not if his last girlfriend is the person you're going rock climbing with Sunday.
No matter what his answer is, it's going to make things weird.
They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules.
What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.
Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.