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How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.
To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.