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The majority of women I know are now trying the internet, and some have made lasting relationships, although many echo the experiences I’ve had.The perception of the UK as a multicultural hub is true, but this is reflected poorly in the media in terms of the representation of Black women.But things are thankfully changing for Black women.It is now estimated that 48 percent of Black Caribbean men and 34 percent of Black Caribbean women are in mixed-race relationships in the UK.Even more so, 50 percent of Caribbean origin children have one White parent.I should also add here that Black people of African descent buck this trend slightly, and there appear to be more of them dating within their ethnic group.I’ve interacted with plenty of White guys, but it’s never clear if they are interested in a relationship or not, even when we’re on a date.
They may give compliments and drop hints, and even though we believe we are showing reciprocal interest, numbers are never requested from the men or exchanged.It seems that many Black women feel that it is our responsibility to preserve the Black community. Surely, a shared connection, chemistry and interests (which is so hard to find) are more important than having to explain to a man how a weave is sown in?After realising that White men probably won’t walk up to me in the street and ask for a date, I tried internet dating on and off for a couple of years, and admittedly over 90% of the emails I received were from White men.However, I often read American blogs that advise Black women to go to Europe as it is more likely that they’ll find love with a slight irritation – dating non-Black men here is certainly no easier than anywhere else.Couple this with the growing Western trend of many Black men seeking to date and mate with women of any other ethnicity except their own and the general invisibility of Black women in the media (when we are represented, we’re aggressive, unfeminine and not the object of any attraction) and you’ll find that Black women in the UK are facing the same conundrum as our sisters across the Atlantic.
I’ve lost count on the amount of dates I went on, which ranged from men who have a clear fetish for women of colour (to be honest I am not comfortable dating men who only date one race and exclude others) to those who were seemingly grounded and cultured.